self-determination

Well, I didn’t update the blog for a while. It doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to write, but it was because of I don’t really know where I would be starting?

I found the end of “If you’re not the one” that I ever wrote about it on last year and I was hopeful that my “If you’re not the one” will never end up to the sadness. But life is life, the end of story always opposite as we expect

In fact, everything isn’t the end. But, it is the truth that I just accepted after I tries to laying myself for a long time. This true is the last straw that broke my back completely. I don’t want to know or waiting to learn about the end of it again. It’s really hurt when if you’re not the one of mine didn’t end as I hope. Most of all, I do respect all of his decisions.

When I look back to the sadness, I found the reason why I am always drinks a wine until drunk. You know, I never done it before. It was because of I have something in my mind and I want to forget it.

Then now, I pay more attention about the relationship in the new way that based on the true more than love. I don’t know it is wrong or right but, I think its will not make me feel hurts like the past when I select to belong with someone who loves me.

You know I said to someone “If you think you like or love another one more than me, just tell me then I will walk away….” He that said sound like I try to pushing him all the time, but I told him it isn’t true, the true is that I cannot be patient with anyone who does not put a heart on me. Yeah, the latest lesson makes me learn about self-determination. So I will let the time to prove everything and tell me for the future.